Is monogamy right for humans?

In our past, we were not exactly the faithful types, and if we’re to look at the rest of nature, monogamy does not seem to be a very popular way of life. Only 3 percent of all mammals spend their entire lives with one partner. And we’re part of that 3 percent. However, since the Internet came into play, our so called faithful nature has taken a severe beating.

These days, you can be unfaithful in many ways.. physically, on the phone, via text messages, or in online chats. Quite whether non-physical flirting can be called infidelity is another matter, but if you are flirting, stealing away to chat with someone, and hiding evidence, then chances are that you are not being entirely honest about what’s going on.

When man first established him and herself on this earth, monogamy was not part of the equation. For a man, it was important to sow his seeds in as many places as possible to ensure offsprings. And for a woman, it just wasn’t practical to put all her eggs into one man’s basket. Literally.

These days, however, the religious right have kittens every time someone strays outside of marriage, although most of them are probably doing it on the quiet too, and the truth is, it’s not as much fun as it used to be (although I have to admit I have not got much experience since getting married) and with STDs running rampant, it’s just not as safe either.

In a recent survey, 44 percent of the people who replied to the survey admitted to using texting as a means of flirting. 45 % of women who responded said they regularly check their partner’s phone to see if he’s got something going, and 31% of men admitted to doing the same. So.. chances are you’re going to get busted.

You can read more about this in the book ”Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People” by David P. Barash, Ph.D., and Judith Eve Lipton, M.D.

House of Horror – New 3D video of the prison

There is a new 3D Video available on the internet documenting the prison that Elisabeth Fritzl was forced to live in for 24 years, giving birth to children sired by her own father.

Following the “walk-through” to the prison, it simply boggles your mind when you think about all the work that must have gone into this project. This man, Josef Fritzl, is so far gone it is scary. The man should NEVER see the light of day again.

What a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE life these poor children and Elisabeth have had. How they managed to stay sane is beyond me. Elisabeth is an INCREDIBLY strong woman, I am in AWE of her.

The video can be seen here, on the Aftonbladet.se site (Swedish newspaper).

More libido-enhancing pills? Do we really need them?

The latest from the world of sex science is that a new pill has been invented, to improve men’s sex life. There is an attempt to appease women by saying that the pills also work on us, AND the pill would make us thinner.

PUH-LEEZE. Who do they think they’re fooling???

How many of us women “over a certain age”, with jobs, children still in the K-12 school system and in other words still at home needing us more or less 24/7, can honestly say that we would welcome more demands for sex from our more rested and less responsibility-laden husbands?

Yes, many of us women could do with some help with our own ailing libidos, and if only there really was a magical pill that would make us thinner!, but reality is different.

The scientists, who have tested these drugs on monkeys, discovered it encouraged ‘rump presentation and tail wagging, tongue flicking and eyebrow raising’.  Some drug. I don’t know about you, but I know I’d be out of my mind with desire if my husband came home flicking his tongue, presenting his rump at me and wagging that remainder of a tail we as humans have (called the coccyx). Yes, I’m being fascitious. The eyebrow raising would be mine.

I know I’d love to improve my libido, perhaps I could stand the smallest chance of remotely matching my husband’s desires, but LOVE, respect and genuine affection for one another doesn’t come in the form of a pill!

         “The new drug stimulates the release of Type 2 gonadotropin (only a man could invent that name) and makes a man not only capable of having sex, but wanting to have it, too. And with his wife. After 20 years! Forget penicillin, this could be the miracle drug of the 21st century”, writes Amanda Platell of the Daily Mail in the UK.

I’m sure most men are thrilled to pieces about this new pill, about being able to show off their prowess yet again. But what many of them might forget, or conveniently leave out of their reasoning, is that what we women need most is romance. Not necessarily mind-blowing, middle-aged sex. We need to feel recognized, loved, appreciated and most of all we need the man to HELP OUT. THAT is an aphrodisiac. THAT might get you in bed with us. A pill making you feel like you’re 25 again while we still feel our age, is only a recipe for disaster.

Amanda Platell continues to say: “You don’t have to be a marriage counsellor to realize the pressures sex drugs place on marriages. No pun intended, but the rising number of Viagra divorces is well documented.”

Amen, sister.

Perhaps inventing a pill that makes the man more helpful and attentive at home would be money better spent.

Teen pregnancy rates – why are they higher in the US?

The United States of America has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world. That’s a scary fact, don’t you think? Why do we have the highest teen pregnancy rate? I’ll tell you why. 

Puritanism. Republican religious fanaticism.

Pure and simple.  This can also explain why the United States has the highest rate of infant male circumcision in the developed world, for non-religious reasons. But I digress.

Our schools are not teaching kids about contraception. Why? Because it would “encourage sexual activity too early.” Other countries teach contraception, their teens are not sexually active any earlier than ours, and when they DO become active (for the majority of teens, there is no stopping this natural behavior, folks) they end up pregnant a LOT less often than American teens. So, the argument is false. As I’ve said before, teaching kids that abstinence is the way to go, the method favored by the current Republican, religiously fanatical government, simply is NOT working. Teenagers in the United States are more likely to have sexual intercourse before age 15 and have shorter and more sporadic sexual relationships than teenagers in Canada, France, Great Britain and Sweden. As a result, they are more likely to have more than one partner in a given year.

U.S. teenagers have higher STD rates than teenagers in other developed countries—for example, England, Canada, France and Sweden—because they have more sexual partners and lower levels of condom use. The problem is that kids are not only NOT taught about contraception during sex ed at school, but parents are also reluctant, in the US, to talk to their kids about it. 

Countries with low levels of adolescent pregnancy, childbearing and STDs are characterized by societal acceptance of adolescent sexual relationships, combined with comprehensive and balanced information about sexuality and clear expectations about commitment and prevention of pregnancy and STDs within these relationships. So, it really is quite straightforward.

We need to accept, and understand, that it is human nature to want to procreate. In teenagers, this urge is not understood as purely a species-survival method, and let’s face it.. sex feels good. So, they will experiment, they will take active part. The sooner we can all realize this, the better. Then we can act. TEACH your teens, in fact, teach your pre-teens, about sex, protection and STDs. By all means, let them know you’d rather they didn’t become sexually active before they are married or at least in a committed relationship. But you have to face the truth.. chances are they won’t always listen. So make sure they are safe instead.

This does NOT mean you are encouraging them to be sexually active, it means you are encouraging them to be responsible and careful.

Maternal death rates and the curse of senseless morality

For some reason there exists today a resistance towards openly discussing human sexuality and sexual and reproductive health in the world. Coming from a European country myself, and living in the United States since 1996, I am frequently stunned to see how taboo the subject is. The religious fanatics around the country have made sex a shameful subject. Yet, at the same time, there’s hardly a product advertised on tv without some half-naked woman gazing at you in an alluring way. It’s made all the more funny when she’s selling monistat or something. Nothing sexy about a yeast infection!!!

Some values and traditions hinder many organizations working on getting information out about sex, healthcare for mothers and mothers-to-be, advise on protection against STDs and pregnancy and the prevention of aids.  All this contributes to an encompassing and devastating discrimation of women and girls.

Millions of women around the world are denied the right to their own bodies and sexuality.  They are not given the right to decide if, how and when they will have sex, or how many children they are going to have. Case in point right here in the US with the polygamists in the west.  This inequality kills millions of women. Despite repeated promises, actions and goals on an international and national level, the mortality rate for mothers has only been marginally reduced in low income countries during the last 20 years. Every day, EVERY DAY, around 20,000 women and children die, from poor or non-existent healthcare for mothers. That’s about 7.5 million women and children every year.

The lack of political goodwill, resources and effective action, result in the majority of the women of the world being subjected to unacceptable risks where their lives are at stakes during each pregnancy. And yet, we know what needs to be done!

Today, there is an International forum in Stockholm, Sweden regarding this issue. They have 3 major goals with high priority that they want to accomplish:

Strengthen women’s positions. A great number of the women in the world today live in poverty and are at a social and economical disadvantage. Girls must have access to education. Women must be given the opportunities to own land and property, to earn money and participate in the business world and politics. Politicians, authorities, companies, organizations and religious groups must, to a much greater extent, pass on the message of womens’ rights.

Increase the availability of sexual and reproductive services. According to calculations done by the World Bank, the number of women who die during pregnancy and labor could be reduced by 74% through extended healthcare for mothers, and if women were given access to much needed birthing care, such as bloodpressure reducing medication, antibiotics, suction tools during birth, c-sections and blood transfusions. Abortions are of course never a preferred method of birth control, but those women who do not have access to other types of birth control or are victims of rape often see abortions as their only last resort. These abortions are often done under dangerous conditions. In some countries these dangerous abortions are responsible for about 40% of the maternal death rates.

Increase the availability of preventive birth control. Access to birth control could reduce the maternal dealth rates by 25-35%. Every woman must have access to, and decide for herself, which birth control method she is most comfortable with. Young women must also be given access to confidential information and advice.

With the help of well thought-through and goal oriented measures, the maternal death rates could even be almost irradicated.  Numbers and experiences from countries in Europe show this.

People must have the opportunity to have their voices heard. We cannot let morality and destructive cultural practices decide the fate of women and children. 

The maternal death rate of today is simply unacceptable. As women, we have to make our voices heard for our sisters in countries where their voices are silenced, and where their worth is lower than the animals on their farms. We need to educate the men in their societies and make them see sense.

Contact your state representatives today and ask them what they are doing to help the mothers of the world.

Well-educated women have less satisfying sex

If you have a good education, a bachelor’s degree perhaps, or a master’s. Perhaps even a Ph.D, kudos to you. Unfortunately, however, you may be one of the many well-educated women who have a hard time climaxing in bed.

In a recent study, 62% of those women who had been to university reported having difficulties with orgasm, compared to only 38% of the women who had not been educated at university.

The reason? Apparently the well-educated women think too much and can’t relax enough to enjoy the activity.

Heh. I never knew thinking too much was my problem.

Elisabeth Fritzl and her children send message to their town

“We, the whole family, want to thank everyone for their interest in our fate. Your empathy has been a tremendous help to get through this difficult time, and shows us that – after all – there are good and honest people in this world. We hope that the time will come when we can return to living a normal life.”

This is the greeting that Elisabeth Fritzl and her children sent to the inhabitants of Amstetten today.

On a big poster mounted in the window of a store in the town square Elisabeth and the children have drawn pictures of their hands with messages to the general public.  On one hand, Elisabeth herself wrote, “My wish: that my daughter Kerstin will get better.”

Meanwhile, in Austria, another family tragedy has been unveiled. In one of the more affluent parts of Vienna a man yesterday murdered not only his parents and father-in-law, but also his wife and 7 year old daughter. His weapon of choice was an axe. His wife’s partially covered body was found in a bath, and his daughter’s body was found in the closet, where she was probably trying to hide from her monstruous father.

One can’t help but wonder what the hell is going on over there.

Health myths you might not know about

MYTH YOU SHOULDN’T MIX ANTIBIOTICS AND ALCOHOL

FACT: It is always wise to try to avoid drinking alcohol when taking medication, since there is a possibility the combination will make you feel unwell. But doing so while taking antibiotics is unlikely to have any effect. 

It’s likely the myth came about since there are many drugs which can interact with alcohol, and either increase in potency of the medicine, or make you get drunk quicker.

The only exception is Metronidazole, an antibiotic used for a variety of infections. When mixed with even small amounts of alcohol, it causes vomiting.

MYTH BREAST EXAMINATION SAVES LIVES

FACT: The idea that regular breast examinations prevent women from dying of cancer was discredited by a major American study. But screening programmes and mammograms have been shown to improve survival.

In a survey of 266,000 women by the prestigious Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Centre in Seattle, the death rate from breast cancer was the same in the group taught to check their breasts as in the group given no information.

The researchers also found that self-examination led to an increase in anxiety and needless biopsies.

Breast examination may not have an effect on mortality, but being quick to respond to any noticeable changes such as a lump, any puckering or pain, may reduce the need for more extensive treatment.

MYTH BRUSH TEETH AFTER EATING SWEETS TO AVOID DECAY

FACT: You should never do this, a dentist says.  Whenever you eat something acidic or sugary it causes a temporary softening of the enamel. So if you brush straight away, you are scraping off this protective coating and, in effect, spitting your teeth down the sink.

Wait at least an hour before brushing with a flouride toothpaste, as the enamel will have hardened by then.

MYTH LUNG CANCER IS A SMOKER’S DISEASE

FACT: Although smoking is the main cause of lung cancer, one in eight cases are not linked to smoking. Second-hand smoke and contact with some substances such as asbestos will increase the risk, though the disease can occur in those who have not had any obvious exposure.

An American study found around eight per cent of men and 20 per cent of women who are diagnosed with lung cancer have never smoked. Even if you are not an obvious candidate, it is always wise to see your doctor if you experience symptoms such as a prolonged cough or unexplained pain and weight loss.

And finally… a man does not run a higher risk of having a heart attack during sex. That excuse is obsolete. Research shows that the chances of a 50-year-old, non-smoking man suffering a heart attack is about one in a million in any hour.  Having sex increases these odds to two in a million. Sex, like any other form of physical exertion, does raise the heart attack risk in men with heart disease, or who experience severe chest pains regularly, have very high blood pressure or have a weak heart muscle or heart palpitations.

Sex raises your heart rate to around 130 beats a minute, which is roughly the same effect as climbing stairs for 15 to 20 seconds – so if you feel comfortable climbing the stairs, sex shouldn’t be a heart attack worry.

Are married people without children really happier?

Do you want to live a long and happy life?

Get married – but don’t have any children.

This is the conclusion Professor Daniel Gilbert of Harvard University has made as a result of a big survey in the United States and Europe.

“The numbers show that married people are happier in almost all instances than unmarried people, whether they be single, divorced or living together. Married people live longer, earn more money and have more sex. Children seem to increase the feelings of happiness while still invitro, but as soon as they are born, the problems start” Dr. Gilbert says.

However, all is not lost if you are married with children. You can still find your happiness again.

“When the kids grow up and move out”, Dr. Gilbert finishes.

Didn’t see that one coming.

Daughter of incest monster “never wants to see his face again”

Understandable, don’t you agree?

While Josef Fritzl is now facing life in prison for the murder of his baby son (who died three days after being born and who did not get the medical attention he needed because Josef did not want to be near his daughter as she gave birth, and whom he burned in his furnace), Elisabeth is making tremendous progress every day, spending time with her children and her mom. One of the first things she said to her rescuers, however, was “I never want to see his face again.” For her sake, I hope he is locked up for the rest of his life, and in solitary confinement for that matter.

What is going through her mother, Rosemarie’s head at this point? How do you reconcile the fact that you have spent your entire adult life married to a monster? How does Rosemarie cope with the fact that the man she married raped and abused her own daughter, right below her feet, for 24 years without her knowing? Does she look back, realizing the signs were there all along, or can she truly say she was completely in the dark all those years?

These women, and the children, are going to need some serious help for many years to come. I just hope it’s not too late.